Things You (As a Dog Owner) Should Never Say.....

When it comes to dogs, owners sometimes have tunnel vision, seeing the world only from the perspective of their own dog or their own dog-training experience. This often leads to owners tossing out sentences that, in an ideal world, would never be uttered. Yet these words are clues to a bigger issue, or a situation that's about to become an issue, including not fully understanding dog behavior, social cues, body language, or simply good manners toward other dogs and dog owners.

 Training yourself is the most productive strategy for improving the behavior of your dog -- as well as other dogs that your dog socializes with -- because you are such a big influencer of behavior, even when you don't realize you're influencing your dog's actions.

Dr. Patricia McConnell writes in her book "The Other End of the Leash: Why We Do What We Do Around Dogs," "Focusing on the behavior at our end of the leash isn't a new concept in dog training. Most professional dog trainers actually spend very little time working with other people's dogs; most of our time is spent training humans. Take it from me, we're not the easiest species on the block to train."

 But it doesn't have to feel daunting. Training yourself can become easier if you're truly seeing your thought process about your own dog and dogs you pass on the street. Once you recognize how you think about them, you can more easily influence what you think about them. And once you do that, better interactions will follow.

All dog owners have been guilty of saying at least one, if not several of the phrases below. Of course none of us are perfect, and "should never" is basically an impossible aspiration. But if you catch yourself saying one of the phrases below, it might be time to ask yourself why you’re saying it and use it as a training opportunity to fine-tune how you're really viewing your dog and his behaviors. Here are 11 examples of things dog owners often say that should spark wariness about what's really going on.

"It's okay, my dog is friendly."
This is often said by an owner whose dog is approaching (or charging up to) another dog or person. The owner is perhaps trying to calm potential fears that their dog has negative intentions, because maybe that other owner or dog looks nervous. Even worse, the owner uttering this phrase may not have any control whatsoever over how their dog is approaching others and is just hoping that everything goes well.  If you need to say this phrase, then it’s possible you’re letting your dog get away with some bad, potentially dangerous manners.

 This is also a common response from an owner whose dog is approaching another dog/human pair that is actually asking to maintain some distance. Frankly, it doesn’t matter if your dog is friendly or not — if someone asks for space, it’s for a good reason. Their dog might be fearful, reactive, injured, in training, or simply not want anything to do with your dog.

 Just because your dog is "friendly" doesn't mean he automatically has permission to approach another dog or a person, nor should his unlikeliness to bite or pick a fight be an excuse for poor manners. If you find yourself assuring people that your dog is friendly, then it may be a good opportunity to look at the bigger picture about what exactly is happening and if your dog is being, well, far too friendly.

"Oh, my dog would never bite."

Famous last words — and words every UPS delivery person hates to hear because they are filled with naive confidence. Your dog might be the world's most goofy, loving dog but to quote a favorite song, "Never say never." (The irony of saying this in light of the title of this article isn't lost on me.) In fact, saying your dog would never do something is a red flag signaling misunderstanding, or worse, denial, about what your dog thinks or feels about the world and how that might change with age, illness, new family members or other experiences. But assuming your dog would never bite is perhaps the most dangerous assumption to make, since it makes you lax about monitoring interactions that could have serious consequences.

 If your dog has a mouth and any sense of what is going on in the world around her, she can and just might bite if pushed. It's better to know this fact and respect your dog's capabilities, comfort zones and boundaries just in case, than act as if the scenario could never pop up.

"It's not my dog's fault."

Maybe it isn't, but maybe it is. On the one hand, there are a lot of dogs that get the blame for reacting to the instigation of another dog. The biggest of the dogs, or the loudest, or the one of a certain breed, or the one that ends up on the winning end often gets blamed. However, there is a large portion of the dog-owning population who say, "It wasn't my dog's fault" and they are totally, completely, and utterly wrong. Not only wrong, but as much at fault as their dog who indeed started the altercation.

 This phrase is uttered too often by people who have little experience reading dog body language, and aren't interpreting, or simply aren't paying attention to, the signals their dog is sending out into the world. Small dog owners are an easy example; because the dog is small, many owners think it's acceptable — or worse, cute — when their dog stares at, postures at, growls at, or lunges at other nearby dogs. Their dog is small and can't do a whole lot of damage (or is easy to drag by the leash or pick up off the ground) when they act out. Sadly, though, it is indeed this dog's fault when something happens, even though they might be the smallest of the suspects.

So if your dog tends to be in the middle of problems, start paying attention. It might be your dog that is drawing in the trouble.

"Let them work it out themselves."

This is one of the worst things you can hear (or do) in a social situation with dogs, especially at a dog park. There is an over-reliance on the notion that dogs have a built-in pack savvy that they'll revert to when they're among other dogs, so humans don't need to or shouldn't step in to manage social interactions. But many expert dog trainers and behaviorists will point out that a group of new dogs meeting at a dog park isn't a pack in the true sense of the word. Further, individual dogs might not know how to give or receive cues from each other to keep a situation from escalating. So as the social tension builds, the humans simply standing by creates a recipe for a fight or psychological trauma.

 Some dogs are bullies, some are fearful, some aren't so great at picking up the cut-it-out cues from others or just ignore them, some have overactive play or prey drives, some are resource-protective. Putting dogs with varying personalities together and letting them "work it out" is like taking the teacher out of a third-grade classroom and letting the kids figure it out among themselves. It's probably going to get chaotic, and someone is going to get hurt.

 Letting dogs figure things out among themselves is important, but to an extent. Professional dog trainer Erin Kramer points out, "Socialization is the process of a dog teaching another dog about proper behavior. So yes, a little education here and there about bite inhibition or being too bossy is a critical part of canine socialization. But any escalation beyond that, where you let dogs sort it out, teaches your dog two things. First is, 'I can't rely on my human to protect me or stand up for me.' And second is one of these two lessons: 'Fighting works (so I'll do it again and again),' or 'I hate other dogs, they are scary.' Any of those messages are the exact opposite of why you wanted your dog to socialize with other dogs in the first place."

Leaving aside the possibility of a serious fight, when a situation escalates and an owner doesn't step in, there is an erosion of the trust and confidence the dog has in his owner which can lead to other behavior problems. Responsible dog owners don't let dogs "work it out themselves" — rather, they help their dogs have positive social interactions by managing the play situation, making sure all is calm and not letting things escalate. And if things do escalate, they step in to stop it. 

"There was no warning."

There's always warning. You just didn't see it.

"Communication is a critical ingredient in any relationship, yet as our human interactions show, even between two members of the same species speaking the same language, this is not necessarily an easy matter," writes Suzanne Clothier writes in "Bones Would Rain From The Sky: Deepening Our Relationships with Dogs". She explains, "The language of Dog is not unlike our own human language. It is filled with nuance and subtleties, the sum of which -- examined within a given context -- provide a total communication. Like our dogs, we can communicate volumes without uttering a word, though doing so with great clarity requires awareness of our own bodies and the subtle meanings behind gestures."

 Dogs have an intricate though sometimes subtle body language through which they tell you and other dogs everything they're thinking or feeling. Sometimes dogs give warning after warning after warning before finally lashing out, and the human just didn't know what the dog was saying or that the dog was communicating at all.

 When someone's dog is attacked at a dog park by another dog and says, "There was no warning," what that person is really saying is, "I wasn't paying enough attention or didn't know enough to see the signals my dog and the other dog were sending each other and step in before things escalated." Don't blame yourself if you didn't see it. Dog body language can be hard to read and "conversations" can happen lightning fast. But don't say there was no warning. Instead, ask how you missed the warning and how you might catch it next time.

"He just wants to play."

This might be the case if your dog is play bowing to another dog, enticing another dog into a game of chase with a toy or fake-bolting. But it could also be a lot more complicated than that. This phrase is often said by owners whose dogs are being overly exuberant, being a bully, or are otherwise pushing the boundaries of acceptable social behavior. And often, the person saying this doesn’t know enough about dog body language and social cues to understand when another dog is getting fed up with their own dog's antics or, equally as problematic, their dog is not being playful at all.

 Perhaps the dog who "wants to play" is showing nervousness about the pecking order and is being overly submissive by face licking another dog and rolling over in a submissive posture. Perhaps the dog who "wants to play" is being a bully by nipping, barking at, or standing on another dog when their "play" partner is showing signs of frustration or fear.

 Saying that a dog just wants to play too often gives an excuse for bad or potentially dangerous social behavior. If an owner is constantly pawning off their dog’s annoying, mean or awkward behavior as trying to be playful then it might be time to study up on canine body language and find out what’s really going on.  

"Dogs love me."

Cue the eyeroll from every person who owns a dog that doesn't like other humans.

Most dogs might love you, but not all dogs do. It's just a statistical reality. Even if most dogs seem to think you're made of tennis balls and treats, some dogs won't love you. Not even if you really were made of tennis balls and treats. So, if someone asks you to keep your distance from their dog, please, for the love of DINOS, don't respond with this phrase. (A DINOS is a dog in need of space, and an owner knows best when their dog will be uncomfortable with you, no matter how convinced you are of your lovability.)

By assuming that a dog will appreciate your approach, you're opening yourself up to real danger for a bite. And even if a dog doesn't bite you, you may be causing psychological distress to a dog that doesn't want you so close — distress that could potentially lead to a bite later on down the road when the dog feels it needs to protect itself from people who come charging up saying, "Dogs love me."

"My dog is great with kids."

All kids? All the time? Or kids of a certain age or behavior? Kids act differently at different ages, and your dog who might be amazing with an infant may be less confident or patient with a bumbling, tumbling toddler with erratic, unpredictable movements. Or your dog who is tolerant of slower toddlers might have an over-stimulated prey drive when 7- or 8-year-olds are yelling, running around and jumping over furniture. Or your dog who is a saint with your kids and even the neighborhood kids might not be great when a new child comes along and joins the group; you just don't know until the situation pops up.

Yes, your dog might be great with kids. And if that's the case, then wonderful and three cheers for your dog! We all want to have Lassies and Old Yellers and Good Dog Carls. But a dog who is great with all kids, all the time is rare. What family dogs are good at is having a high tolerance for most children, which is quite different from being a perfect playmate or nanny. It leaves the possibility open of your dog being pushed past their patience limits or comfort zones. So think carefully on the various boundaries you may need to put on this statement before you say this.

"He's a rescue so [insert excuse for behavior here]."

Some rescued dogs come from horrific pasts. They may have been saved from serious neglect or abuse, or have spent time as a stray on the street. Because of this, sometimes their past experiences are the reason why they have certain behavior issues. But as one of my high school teachers used to say, there is always a reason but seldom an excuse. Not all adopted dogs come with dark pasts, and not all adopted dogs have behaviors that can be waved away or excused because of previous experiences.

Personality traits like shyness, timidity and mistrust are sometimes just that: personality traits. And behavior issues like poor manners with other dogs, reactivity, or barking at strangers can't always be attributed to the mysterious past of your dog. Sometimes they're simply learned behaviors that need training to improve. If you've adopted a rescued dog, then you earn a big high-five! But only if you aren't dramatizing the dog's status as adopted and letting poor behavior sneak by.

"He's doing that to try and be dominant."

The whole "dominant dog" thing has frankly gotten out of control. The word is flung around as a way to explain practically any misbehaviour from jumping on a person to digging through the trash to urinating on the bedspread. If your dog jumps on you or crawls on you when you're sitting on the floor, it's more likely that it's out of over exuberance and lack of solid training than because he's trying to show you who is boss. Even resource protection isn't necessarily a "dominance" issue — a dog just doesn't want to lose what he considers valuable, like a certain toy or a bowl of food. The fear and anxiety about that loss is as much a possible cause for a growl as a drive to be the leader of the pack. Assertiveness, confidence, a lack of confidence, pain or illness, excitement, exuberance, fear, mistrust, a lack of training ... there are far more accurate ways of interpreting a dog's actions than the tired old line of "trying to be dominant."

McConnell writes, "Understanding social status is particularly important because misunderstanding what 'dominance' means has led to appallingly abusive behavior. So much old-fashioned obedience training could be summarized as, 'Do it because I told you to, and if you don't, I'll hurt you.' The assumption seemed to be that dogs should do what we say because we told them to; after all, we're the humans and they're the dogs, and surely humans have more social status than dogs." However, as McConnell goes on to point out, social status isn't all about dominance; it is a far more complex concept than one member of the family "pack" being the leader.

Whittling everything down to a dominance problem means losing sight of the complexity of social dynamics and creates blind spots for understanding behaviors. Don't let the real reason for behaviors, and therefore appropriate and effective solutions for training, get ignored because the word "dominance" springs to mind ahead of anything else.

"He knows better than that."

Does he? Or does your dog know a certain way to behave only in a certain context? Dogs can have a hard time translating behaviors learned in one place, like your living room, to another place, like inside a pet store or a dog park where smells, sights, people and energy levels are completely different. A dog that has been taught to sit politely at your front door before exiting probably won't translate that to sitting politely in front of any door before exiting, unless you've gone through that exercise at tons of different doors and been consistent about it. It even goes for a different side of your own body; if you've taught a dog to sit on your left side but never practiced on your right side, then getting that dog to sit on your right side will take a little more time.

To get a certain behavior from a dog consistently despite where you are or the specifics of what you're asking takes training the dog for that behavior in a wide variety of settings, under a wide variety of conditions, so your dog knows that "sit" doesn't just mean "that movement I do right before I'm about to get a leash put on" but rather means "put my rump on the ground no matter where I am or what is happening and keep it there until told otherwise." So before you get upset with your dog because "he knows better" or "he knows how to do that," take a look at the training history and ask, does he really?

(source)

Remember, our dogs need us to be able to speak for them clearly and correctly.  

Keep your tails wagging, 

Bear's P4ws

Falling in Love with Fall....the Safe Way

Fall is a great time to build some special memories with your pet: cozying up by the fire, taking in the crisp fall air, walking through fallen leaves, and enjoying all the sights and smells of the season.

As with any change of season, your pet is coming in contact with new experiences and exposures both around the house and outdoors that perhaps weren't present in the previous season. To protect your pet this fall, here are some common hazards that you and your family should be aware of:

School supplies

Now that the kids are back in school, your pet may be tempted to snack on some school supplies that may be lying around, such as crayons, markers, glue, or pencils. These objects can be a choking hazard or can be toxic for your pet to ingest. Keep school supplies in areas where your pet can’t reach them and share this important tip with your children.

Rodenticides

We do not recommend the use of rodenticides.  However, their use tends to be higher in the fall, when mice are starting to look for somewhere warm to go for the winter. Rodenticides are toxic to more than just mice, so make sure they’re placed in areas not accessible to your pets. As an alternative, we recommend a holistic deterrent of vinegar and pepper mix spray.

Engine coolants

If you’re changing your engine coolant this fall, avoid ethylene glycol-based coolants and instead go for the less toxic glycol-based coolants. Glycol-based coolants could still make your pet sick if ingested, so any spills should be cleaned thoroughly.

Visibility

With days getting shorter, there may be less daylight during your dog walks. Make sure both you and your pet are wearing bright colours or consider purchasing a collar with an LED light.

Indoor and outdoor heating sources

Keep your pet from getting too close to potentially dangerous heating sources. That means keeping your fireplace cover closed and keeping pets away from outdoor fire pits and electric heaters. Remember to also turn off electric heaters if no one is home.

Mushrooms

While most wild mushrooms aren't toxic, it can be difficult to distinguish a toxic mushroom from a non-toxic one. Keep your pet away from areas where wild mushrooms are found. If you see that your pet has eaten a wild mushroom, contact your vet or animal poison control immediately.

Snakes

As the weather gets cooler, snakes will start getting ready for winter hibernation. Make sure you’re familiar with poisonous snakes in your area and keep your pets from going off trail or in areas with long grass.

Following these tips this fall, can ensure your pets stay safe while enjoying the new season.

Keep your tails wagging

Bear's P4ws

The Home Alone Dog

"Now, Muffy. Mummy has to go out and leave you, but here’s your toys and water and cookies. Now, you be a gooood girl and Mummy will see you soon. Here, let Mummy give you a big hug and kiss. Now, please, be a good girl."

Is Muffy consoled? NO. Does Muffy understand any of what Mummy said? NO. Is Muffy confused? YES. Does Muffy feel anxious? YOU BET!

One of the worst elements of being a 9 to 5 out-of-the-house dog owner is the guilt that we heap on ourselves at leaving the little one at home "all by herself." So, we turn ourselves inside out to dote on the dog, even more than we normally would, just prior to our leave taking.

On our return home, our guilt-ridden behaviour intensifies. "Oh, Muffy. Did you have a good day? Did you miss Mummy? I wuv my widdle Muffy. Oh, Mummy’s sorry she had to leave her little baby. Want something to eat? Want to go walkies? You Mummy’s little love?"

Is Muffy consoled? NO. Does Muffy understand any of what Mummy said? NO. Is Muffy confused? YES. Does Muffy feel anxious? YOU BET! Does Muffy have ANY idea what is expected of her? I doubt it.

Confronted with these displays, Muffy will do one of two things; shrug her shoulders and go find a corner, curl up and go to sleep for the next eight hours (highly unlikely) or, watch the door close and then, because "Mummy" has instilled such a sense of anxiety, Muffy will look for an outlet for her frustration such as, chewing furniture, defecating, urinating, shredding curtains or paper or barking while running helter-skelter throughout the house.

How did Muffy’s owner make Muffy anxious? She just hold her how much she loved her and how much she would miss her (assuming that Muffy would miss her as much!) and made a BIG fuss of her when she left. Mommy acted like this was a BIG problem? Why would that give Muffy an anxiety attack?!

Dogs are wonderful creatures but they are creatures of habit and routine. Once a routine is established, dogs are quite happy knowing what’s what, what is likely to happen next and what is expected of them when it does.

Does Muffy know what’s happening? (Mummy’s leaving! Aghhh!!) Does Muffy know what’s going to happen next? (When Mummy comes home again, she’s going to be upset! Aghhh!!) Does Muffy know what’s expected of her while Mummy is gone. (Aghhhhh! What to do? What to do??)

How do we avoid this scenario?

First of all, DON’T be guilty because you’re leaving the house for the day. This is a fact of life and dogs are very clever creatures. However, they communicate in dogese ... not English. They understand your para-language (whining and cooing, etc) and your body language and they interpret it accordingly. Although some dogs have a fairly extensive vocabulary, much of their interpretation of what is actually said (as you understand it) is by your para and body language.

So, how do we get out of the house? In the words of Ian Dunbar, "Close the door." Too simply stated? Then teach your puppy that you are leaving the house ... daily ... and that he has to learn to like (or at least, tolerate) his own company. Puppy (or dog) should be confined to an area (oversized crate or a room where he cannot destroy things), given his supply of water, toys, cookies, Kong toys ... anything to keep him amused. Tell him, in a normal tone of voice, "Ta, ta.

Look after things while I’m gone, Kid. See you later." Then, simply leave.

Is Kid consoled? NO. Does Kid understand any of what was actually said? NO. Is Kid confused? NO. Does Kid feel anxious? NO.

When you return? Leave the puppy (or dog) in his confined space but troop through and say, "Hi. How’s it goin’? Cool your jets and I’ll come and get you in a minute." Then, hang up your coat, put your purse down, go change your clothes, grab a beer as you pass the fridge and then, and only then, go and let Kid outside for a piddle and a Frisbee throw (or whatever Kid considers fun!).

Does Kid need consoling? NO. Does Kid understand any of what was said? Maybe, although probably not. Is Kid confused? NO. Does Kid feel anxious? NO. Does Kid have any idea what’s expected of him? YOU BET! Is Kid happy with his routine and his owner’s expectations? Probably.

How do we get a Kid and not a Muffy? Ideally, you start from the minute your puppy enters your home. If your regular routine is to be out of the house during regular working hours, that’s the routine your puppy is introduced to at the start. It is far easier for an eight-week old puppy, who has limited life experience, to handle this fact of life. This puppy learns his routine early and becomes accustomed to being alone.

Folks who are fortunate enough to have the summer months free from the workplace, often think it is an ideal time to acquire a puppy. Not so. This eight week old puppy is ’trained’ that people, and sometimes kids, are available all day and all night every day and every night. Then, when he passes his fourth month birthday, the house empties and he finds himself totally alone. This is a difficult adjustment for a young dog. What happened? Was it something he did? Where did everyone go? Where’s my entertainment? This puppy should be trained, prior to school beginning again, in short spans of time gradually built up, that he will be left alone, confined, with his own company.

Your dog is an adult and you find that you are returning to the workplace? All is not lost. Start teaching your dog that there are times that he will be alone. Put your dog in his spot, give him his toys (even adult dogs love stuffed Kongs) and with no fuss or bother, leave the house. When initially teaching your dog this new "game", just leave him for an hour or so and return. Build up the length of time that he’s alone gradually. Again, no fuss or bother. If you don’t make a big deal of this, neither will he. He may not even notice you were gone!

Being a 9 to 5 out-of-the-house dog owner is a way of life for many of us. Teach your puppy or dog to handle this. Spend quality time with the dog during the evening hours and you’ll both be happier for it. And, prepare yourself. If you teach Muffy that your going and coming is nothing to concern herself with, in no time, Muffy won’t give a hoot if you leave her for the day or not. Ever notice how much dogs sleep? That’s what she’ll do with her day. Play a little and sleep a little and sleep a little more. She will, however, just like Kid, be very happy to herald your return!

Keep your tails wagging

Bear's P4ws

Street Festivals, Parades, Concerts....and Your Dog

'Tis the season for Street fairs, concerts in the park, parades and festivals… they are great places for people watching.  But today I found myself dog-watching.  I was actually surprised at the number of people who brought along their pooches out considering the incredible heat…but really, can I blame them? 

 Not really, no.  Given the chance, Bear would go with me to every "dog permissible" street fair or festival in our area....there is, however a certain amount of caution that needs to be taken when you and your pooch are going to be out in the summer heat for the whole day.  

You want to make sure that you yourself stay hydrated, as cool as possible and protected, but you also want your pooch to have the same luxuries and comforts. Also, consider the length of time that you will be walking around, and the fact that most streets tend to get pretty hot after the sun has had the chance to beat down on them for a while... 

That being said, I want to share some things to consider before you decide to take your dog to this weekend’s festival – whatever or wherever that might be.  

First, ask yourself a few questions:

• Will my dog be comfortable at the event… or would she be happier sleeping alone at home?
• Can I be sure my dog won’t react aggressively if an overly aggressive person approaches him? (You might be surprised at how strangers will rush up to your dog.  I see a lot of this on a day-to-day basis.)
• Can I make sure my dog won’t get into something I don’t want her to get into? (Dropped food, trash, etc.)
• Will it get too hot for my dog if I can’t find a spot in the shade?

If you do decide to take your best friend along to an outdoor public event, then here are a few suggestions:

• Take along a bowl and bottled water – you might not be able to find water at the event.
• Consider taking an umbrella for shade – just in case there isn’t any.
• Watch for signs of stress – look for calming signals in your dog – and be prepared to leave early if your dog is stressed.
• Be an advocate for your dog – don’t let unruly kids (or adults) make inappropriate moves toward your dog.

Bark back at us! What other tips do you have for fellow dog owners who want to bring their pooches out on Festival days?

Keep your tails wagging
Bear's P4ws

Petting Dogs: Why Consent is Important

Originally written by a trainer at PawsAbilities this blog/article cover such an important topic for all dog owners to understand and advocate that I simply had to re-post it.

“Come give Sara a hug goodbye,” my friend tells her 3-year-old son. His eyes get big, and he stands behind his mother, hugging her legs. It’s an uncomfortable moment. My friend is embarrassed that her son clearly doesn’t want to hug me. She wants to teach him manners, and worries how his reaction reflects on her parenting. It’s been so long since we last saw each other that her son barely remembers me, and he’s very uncomfortable with the idea of such an intimate goodbye. I’m also not a fan of the idea, since I don’t want to touch anyone, no matter the age, without his or her express consent, even for something as minor as a brief embrace.
“Do you want to wave goodbye instead?” I ask my friend’s son. He nods and smiles shyly, waving bye-bye. The tension in the room relaxes, and I hug my friend goodbye while her son stands in the background, relief palpable in his demeanor as he waves. I hope that I’ve given both him and his mother the tools to deal with similar situations gracefully in the future. It’s okay if he doesn’t want someone to touch him, and he can always offer an alternate suggestion that he feels more comfortable with.
It’s not okay to touch others without their consent. As grabby primates, this can be a hard rule for us to follow. It’s not okay to rub a stranger’s pregnant belly, or to ruffle a child’s curly hair without her permission. If someone doesn’t want to shake hands or hug, waving or giving a fist bump may be more appropriate. We learn as young children to keep our hands to ourselves, and it’s something that we need to remember our entire lives. It’s also something we need to remember when we interact with dogs.

Not every dog likes to be touched. Sure, most dogs enjoy petting and scratching, especially in those hard-to-reach areas such as under their collar and along their spine. However, just like us, every dog has a different level of tolerance for physical affection. Some dogs, just like some people, can’t get enough of touch. They’re happiest when they can lean against you, skin-on-skin, and feel your hand caressing them. Other dogs, just like other people, prefer not to be touched except by a handful of those they know and trust, and even then, only at certain times and in certain places.
You wouldn’t run up and hug a stranger who was walking in the park just because you liked the color of his or her eyes, and it’s just as inappropriate to hug or pick up a dog you don’t know just because you think it’s cute. If a stranger approaches your dog and wants to pet him or her, and your dog doesn’t seem comfortable with the idea, it’s absolutely alright to tell that person no. Just as you would stand up for a child or a vulnerable adult who was unable to tell the stranger no, it’s okay to stand up for your dog. Dogs are not public property, and no one has the right to pet your dog unless you and your dog are both okay with them doing so. 

Of course, this isn’t to say that you shouldn’t teach your dog to accept petting and to greet people appropriately. Dogs have to live in a world where people will reach out for them without asking first, so give your dog the tools to cope with this gracefully by socializing him appropriately.
If you want to pet a dog, whether it’s your own pet or a dog you just met, make sure that you ask first. Asking the owner is important, but even more importantly, I want you to ask the dog. Ask the dog if he or she wants to be touched, and then respect the answer you’re given. 

How do you ask a dog whether she wants to be petted? Dogs aren’t verbal, so they can’t verbally express what they want. However, they do have a complex and nuanced language of their own, and we can watch their body language to determine whether they want to be touched or not.
Start by crouching down a few feet away from the dog you’d like to pet, talking to him or her softly. If the dog approaches, that’s a good sign that she’s interested in interacting with you. If she maintains her distance, that’s an equally good sign that she’s not currently comfortable interacting and that you should give her some space.

Once the dog approaches you, gently pet her under her chin, on her chest, or along her side for 1-2 seconds. Pause and see what she does. If she moves closer to you, leans in, nudges at your hand, or otherwise interacts further with you in a social way, she is telling you that she enjoyed being touched and would like to be petted more. Go ahead and oblige. If she stiffens up, moves away, or does not show any social body language, stop touching her. You do not have her consent to continue putting

your hands on her body. This should go without saying, but if the dog shows warning signs such as whale eye, growling, snarling, snapping, or biting at you, stop what you’re doing immediately and give her some space.
Every so often as you’re petting the dog, stop and ask whether she’d like you to continue by watching her body language. Whenever you pet her in a new place on her body or in a new way (for example, ruffling up the fur above her tail instead of softly stroking her shoulder), stop after a few seconds and evaluate whether she enjoyed that. Many dogs have definite preferences about where they enjoy being touched the most, so ask for the dog’s feedback and watch her respond ecstatically as you scritch just the right spot.

If someone else is petting your dog, ask them to follow these same instructions. Watch your dog’s body language, and be ready to redirect the person if your dog becomes uncomfortable.
It’s a sad reflection of our society that I’m often accused of not liking my clients’ dogs upon first meeting them because I don’t immediately try to pet them. People seem hurt and confused that I don’t instantly reach out for their dogs, especially since I clearly love dogs so much. When I explain that I don’t pet dogs without the dog’s consent, it’s often very eye-opening for my clients, who were taught that anyone should be allowed to touch a dog whether the dog wants it or not. These same clients are often amazed that their dogs don’t show the same aggressive behavior towards me that they do towards most visitors to the home, or that their fearful dog warms up to me so quickly. This isn’t magic. It’s just respect. I respect each dog’s right to choose how closely he or she wants to interact with me, and dogs respond to this respect enthusiastically.


Bark back at us!  How do you handle strangers (children especially) who love dogs and lunge for them when they cross you in the street or at the park?

Keep your tails wagging
Bear

Poor Little Rich Dog

Probably one of the saddest, but most reality-based articles I've read regarding the fate of the "picture-perfect-dog"
 Try to remember, that as advocates for our fur-babies, we also need to advocate for those who are not abandoned on a street corner, or a shelter.  We also have to advocate for those whose owners simply don't know any better, and have never made the effort to learn.... 

Original text by Jon Katz


Ernie, a fluffy, 10-week-old golden retriever with heart-melting eyes, was originally a birthday present. The lucky recipient was Danielle, a pony-tailed 11-year-old living in an affluent Westchester, N.Y., suburb.
Danielle's passions for some time had been soccer, Justin Timberlake, and instant messaging, but her parents wanted to give her a different kind of birthday gift, "something that you didn't plug in or watch, something that would give her a sense of responsibility." She'd often said she'd love a puppy and vowed to take care of it.
Girl and dog, growing up together--what parent hasn't pictured it? Her folks envisioned long family walks around the neighborhood, Ernie frolicking on the lawn while they gardened. They could see him riding along to soccer games. 

Acquiring a dog completed the portrait that had been taking shape for several years, beginning with the family's move to the suburbs from Brooklyn. The package included a four-bedroom colonial, a lawn edged with flowering shrubs, a busy sports schedule, a Volvo wagon and a Subaru Outback to ferry the kids around. A dog--a big, beautiful hunting breed--came with the rest of it, increasingly as much a part of the American dream as the picket fence or the car with high safety ratings.
So Danielle's parents found a breeder online with lots of awards, cooed over the adorable pictures, and mailed off a deposit on a pup. They drove to Connecticut and returned to surprise Danielle on her birthday, just hours before her friends were due for a celebratory sleepover.

It was love at first sight. Danielle and her friends spent hours passing the adorable puppy from one lap to another. Ernie slept with her that night. Over the next two or three weeks, she spent hours cuddling with him, playing tug of war, and tossing balls while her parents took photos.
But the dog did not spark greater love of the outdoors or diminish her interest in television, iPod, computer, and cell phone. Nor did his arrival slow down Danielle's demanding athletic schedule; with practices, games, and victory celebrations, soccer season took up three or four afternoons a week. Anyway, she didn't find the shedding, slobbering, chewing, and maturing Ernie quite as cute as the new-puppy version.

Both of Danielle's parents worked in the city and rarely got home before 7 p.m. on weekdays. The household relied on a nanny/housekeeper from Nicaragua who wasn't especially drawn to dogs and viewed Ernie as stupid, messy, and, as he grew larger and more restive, mildly frightening.
Because nobody was home during the day, he wasn't housebroken for nearly two months and even then, not completely. No single person was responsible for him; nobody had the time, will, or skill to train him. 

As he went through the normal stages of retriever development--teething, mouthing, racing frantically around the house, peeing when excited, offering items the family didn't want retrieved, eating strange objects and then vomiting them up--the casualties mounted. Rugs got stained, shoes chewed, mail devoured, table legs gnawed. The family rejected the use of a crate or kennel--a valuable calming tool for young and energetic dogs--as cruel. Instead, they let the puppy get into all sorts of trouble, then scolded and resented him for it. He was "hyper," they complained, "wild," "rambunctious." The notion of him as annoying and difficult became fixed in their minds; perhaps in his as well.

A practiced trainer would have seen, instead, a golden retriever that was confused, under-exercised, and untrained--an ironic fate for a dog bred for centuries to be calm and responsive to humans.
Ernie did not attach to anybody in particular--an essential element in training a dog. Because he never quite understood the rules, he became increasingly anxious. He was reprimanded constantly for jumping on residents and visitors, for pulling and jerking on the leash when walked. Increasingly, he was isolated when company came or the family was gathered. He was big enough to drag Danielle into the street by now, so her parents and the housekeeper reluctantly took over. His walks grew brief: outside, down the block until he did his business, then home. He never got to run much. 

Complaining that he was out of control, the family tried fencing the back yard and putting Ernie outside during meals to keep him from bothering them. The nanny stuck him there most of the day as well, because he messed up the house. Allowed inside at night, he was largely confined to the kitchen, sealed off by child gates.

The abandonment and abuse of dogs is an enormous issue in the animal rights movement, and quite properly. There are, by U.S. Humane Society estimates, as many as 10 million dogs languishing in shelters; the majority will be euthanized. But Ernie is an abused dog, too.
Nobody is likely to talk much about Ernie, the kind of dog I saw frequently while researching several books. His abusers aren't lowlifes who mercilessly beat, starve, or tether animals. Quite the opposite: His owners are affluent, educated people who consider themselves humanistic and moral. But they've been cruel nonetheless, through their lack of responsibility, their neglect, their poor training, and their inattention. 

I've seen Ernie numerous times over the past two years. I've watched him become more detached, neurotic, and unresponsive. I've seen the soul drain from the dog's eyes.
He's affectionate and unthreatening, but he doesn't really know how to behave--not around his family or other people, not around other animals, not around me or my dogs. He lunges and barks almost continuously when anyone comes near, so few of us do. Increasingly, he gets confined to his back yard, out of sight and mind.

This family was shocked and outraged when I suggested that the dog was suffering from a kind of abuse and might be better off in a different home. "Nobody hits that dog," sputtered Danielle's father. "He gets the best dog food, he gets all his shots." All true. 

But he lacks what is perhaps the most essential ingredient in a dog's life: a human who will take emotional responsibility for him.

Sadly, I see dogs like Ernie all the time, victims of a new, uniquely American kind of abuse, animals without advocates. Dogs like Flash, a Westchester border collie who spent her days chasing invisible sheep beyond a chain link fence, and Reg, an enormous black Lab in Atlanta who, like Ernie, was untrained, grew neurotic and rambunctious, and eventually was confined to the family playroom day and night. He leaves that room for several brief walks each day.
Who knows how many Ernies and Regs there are in urban apartments and suburban backyards? Few media outlets or animals rights groups would classify a $1,200 purebred as a candidate for rescue. In fact, I've contacted rescue groups to see if they could help; they were sympathetic, but they felt more comfortable with traditional kinds of abuse. A situation like this--emotional mistreatment is not illegal--was beyond their purview. 

I understand, but Ernie haunts me. He may be the most abused dog I know. 

Jon Katz's next book, The Dogs of Bedlam Farm: An adventure with three dogs, sixteen sheep, two donkeys and me will be published in October.

 

Keep your tails wagging

Bear's P4ws