Things You (As a Dog Owner) Should Never Say.....

When it comes to dogs, owners sometimes have tunnel vision, seeing the world only from the perspective of their own dog or their own dog-training experience. This often leads to owners tossing out sentences that, in an ideal world, would never be uttered. Yet these words are clues to a bigger issue, or a situation that's about to become an issue, including not fully understanding dog behavior, social cues, body language, or simply good manners toward other dogs and dog owners.

 Training yourself is the most productive strategy for improving the behavior of your dog -- as well as other dogs that your dog socializes with -- because you are such a big influencer of behavior, even when you don't realize you're influencing your dog's actions.

Dr. Patricia McConnell writes in her book "The Other End of the Leash: Why We Do What We Do Around Dogs," "Focusing on the behavior at our end of the leash isn't a new concept in dog training. Most professional dog trainers actually spend very little time working with other people's dogs; most of our time is spent training humans. Take it from me, we're not the easiest species on the block to train."

 But it doesn't have to feel daunting. Training yourself can become easier if you're truly seeing your thought process about your own dog and dogs you pass on the street. Once you recognize how you think about them, you can more easily influence what you think about them. And once you do that, better interactions will follow.

All dog owners have been guilty of saying at least one, if not several of the phrases below. Of course none of us are perfect, and "should never" is basically an impossible aspiration. But if you catch yourself saying one of the phrases below, it might be time to ask yourself why you’re saying it and use it as a training opportunity to fine-tune how you're really viewing your dog and his behaviors. Here are 11 examples of things dog owners often say that should spark wariness about what's really going on.

"It's okay, my dog is friendly."
This is often said by an owner whose dog is approaching (or charging up to) another dog or person. The owner is perhaps trying to calm potential fears that their dog has negative intentions, because maybe that other owner or dog looks nervous. Even worse, the owner uttering this phrase may not have any control whatsoever over how their dog is approaching others and is just hoping that everything goes well.  If you need to say this phrase, then it’s possible you’re letting your dog get away with some bad, potentially dangerous manners.

 This is also a common response from an owner whose dog is approaching another dog/human pair that is actually asking to maintain some distance. Frankly, it doesn’t matter if your dog is friendly or not — if someone asks for space, it’s for a good reason. Their dog might be fearful, reactive, injured, in training, or simply not want anything to do with your dog.

 Just because your dog is "friendly" doesn't mean he automatically has permission to approach another dog or a person, nor should his unlikeliness to bite or pick a fight be an excuse for poor manners. If you find yourself assuring people that your dog is friendly, then it may be a good opportunity to look at the bigger picture about what exactly is happening and if your dog is being, well, far too friendly.

"Oh, my dog would never bite."

Famous last words — and words every UPS delivery person hates to hear because they are filled with naive confidence. Your dog might be the world's most goofy, loving dog but to quote a favorite song, "Never say never." (The irony of saying this in light of the title of this article isn't lost on me.) In fact, saying your dog would never do something is a red flag signaling misunderstanding, or worse, denial, about what your dog thinks or feels about the world and how that might change with age, illness, new family members or other experiences. But assuming your dog would never bite is perhaps the most dangerous assumption to make, since it makes you lax about monitoring interactions that could have serious consequences.

 If your dog has a mouth and any sense of what is going on in the world around her, she can and just might bite if pushed. It's better to know this fact and respect your dog's capabilities, comfort zones and boundaries just in case, than act as if the scenario could never pop up.

"It's not my dog's fault."

Maybe it isn't, but maybe it is. On the one hand, there are a lot of dogs that get the blame for reacting to the instigation of another dog. The biggest of the dogs, or the loudest, or the one of a certain breed, or the one that ends up on the winning end often gets blamed. However, there is a large portion of the dog-owning population who say, "It wasn't my dog's fault" and they are totally, completely, and utterly wrong. Not only wrong, but as much at fault as their dog who indeed started the altercation.

 This phrase is uttered too often by people who have little experience reading dog body language, and aren't interpreting, or simply aren't paying attention to, the signals their dog is sending out into the world. Small dog owners are an easy example; because the dog is small, many owners think it's acceptable — or worse, cute — when their dog stares at, postures at, growls at, or lunges at other nearby dogs. Their dog is small and can't do a whole lot of damage (or is easy to drag by the leash or pick up off the ground) when they act out. Sadly, though, it is indeed this dog's fault when something happens, even though they might be the smallest of the suspects.

So if your dog tends to be in the middle of problems, start paying attention. It might be your dog that is drawing in the trouble.

"Let them work it out themselves."

This is one of the worst things you can hear (or do) in a social situation with dogs, especially at a dog park. There is an over-reliance on the notion that dogs have a built-in pack savvy that they'll revert to when they're among other dogs, so humans don't need to or shouldn't step in to manage social interactions. But many expert dog trainers and behaviorists will point out that a group of new dogs meeting at a dog park isn't a pack in the true sense of the word. Further, individual dogs might not know how to give or receive cues from each other to keep a situation from escalating. So as the social tension builds, the humans simply standing by creates a recipe for a fight or psychological trauma.

 Some dogs are bullies, some are fearful, some aren't so great at picking up the cut-it-out cues from others or just ignore them, some have overactive play or prey drives, some are resource-protective. Putting dogs with varying personalities together and letting them "work it out" is like taking the teacher out of a third-grade classroom and letting the kids figure it out among themselves. It's probably going to get chaotic, and someone is going to get hurt.

 Letting dogs figure things out among themselves is important, but to an extent. Professional dog trainer Erin Kramer points out, "Socialization is the process of a dog teaching another dog about proper behavior. So yes, a little education here and there about bite inhibition or being too bossy is a critical part of canine socialization. But any escalation beyond that, where you let dogs sort it out, teaches your dog two things. First is, 'I can't rely on my human to protect me or stand up for me.' And second is one of these two lessons: 'Fighting works (so I'll do it again and again),' or 'I hate other dogs, they are scary.' Any of those messages are the exact opposite of why you wanted your dog to socialize with other dogs in the first place."

Leaving aside the possibility of a serious fight, when a situation escalates and an owner doesn't step in, there is an erosion of the trust and confidence the dog has in his owner which can lead to other behavior problems. Responsible dog owners don't let dogs "work it out themselves" — rather, they help their dogs have positive social interactions by managing the play situation, making sure all is calm and not letting things escalate. And if things do escalate, they step in to stop it. 

"There was no warning."

There's always warning. You just didn't see it.

"Communication is a critical ingredient in any relationship, yet as our human interactions show, even between two members of the same species speaking the same language, this is not necessarily an easy matter," writes Suzanne Clothier writes in "Bones Would Rain From The Sky: Deepening Our Relationships with Dogs". She explains, "The language of Dog is not unlike our own human language. It is filled with nuance and subtleties, the sum of which -- examined within a given context -- provide a total communication. Like our dogs, we can communicate volumes without uttering a word, though doing so with great clarity requires awareness of our own bodies and the subtle meanings behind gestures."

 Dogs have an intricate though sometimes subtle body language through which they tell you and other dogs everything they're thinking or feeling. Sometimes dogs give warning after warning after warning before finally lashing out, and the human just didn't know what the dog was saying or that the dog was communicating at all.

 When someone's dog is attacked at a dog park by another dog and says, "There was no warning," what that person is really saying is, "I wasn't paying enough attention or didn't know enough to see the signals my dog and the other dog were sending each other and step in before things escalated." Don't blame yourself if you didn't see it. Dog body language can be hard to read and "conversations" can happen lightning fast. But don't say there was no warning. Instead, ask how you missed the warning and how you might catch it next time.

"He just wants to play."

This might be the case if your dog is play bowing to another dog, enticing another dog into a game of chase with a toy or fake-bolting. But it could also be a lot more complicated than that. This phrase is often said by owners whose dogs are being overly exuberant, being a bully, or are otherwise pushing the boundaries of acceptable social behavior. And often, the person saying this doesn’t know enough about dog body language and social cues to understand when another dog is getting fed up with their own dog's antics or, equally as problematic, their dog is not being playful at all.

 Perhaps the dog who "wants to play" is showing nervousness about the pecking order and is being overly submissive by face licking another dog and rolling over in a submissive posture. Perhaps the dog who "wants to play" is being a bully by nipping, barking at, or standing on another dog when their "play" partner is showing signs of frustration or fear.

 Saying that a dog just wants to play too often gives an excuse for bad or potentially dangerous social behavior. If an owner is constantly pawning off their dog’s annoying, mean or awkward behavior as trying to be playful then it might be time to study up on canine body language and find out what’s really going on.  

"Dogs love me."

Cue the eyeroll from every person who owns a dog that doesn't like other humans.

Most dogs might love you, but not all dogs do. It's just a statistical reality. Even if most dogs seem to think you're made of tennis balls and treats, some dogs won't love you. Not even if you really were made of tennis balls and treats. So, if someone asks you to keep your distance from their dog, please, for the love of DINOS, don't respond with this phrase. (A DINOS is a dog in need of space, and an owner knows best when their dog will be uncomfortable with you, no matter how convinced you are of your lovability.)

By assuming that a dog will appreciate your approach, you're opening yourself up to real danger for a bite. And even if a dog doesn't bite you, you may be causing psychological distress to a dog that doesn't want you so close — distress that could potentially lead to a bite later on down the road when the dog feels it needs to protect itself from people who come charging up saying, "Dogs love me."

"My dog is great with kids."

All kids? All the time? Or kids of a certain age or behavior? Kids act differently at different ages, and your dog who might be amazing with an infant may be less confident or patient with a bumbling, tumbling toddler with erratic, unpredictable movements. Or your dog who is tolerant of slower toddlers might have an over-stimulated prey drive when 7- or 8-year-olds are yelling, running around and jumping over furniture. Or your dog who is a saint with your kids and even the neighborhood kids might not be great when a new child comes along and joins the group; you just don't know until the situation pops up.

Yes, your dog might be great with kids. And if that's the case, then wonderful and three cheers for your dog! We all want to have Lassies and Old Yellers and Good Dog Carls. But a dog who is great with all kids, all the time is rare. What family dogs are good at is having a high tolerance for most children, which is quite different from being a perfect playmate or nanny. It leaves the possibility open of your dog being pushed past their patience limits or comfort zones. So think carefully on the various boundaries you may need to put on this statement before you say this.

"He's a rescue so [insert excuse for behavior here]."

Some rescued dogs come from horrific pasts. They may have been saved from serious neglect or abuse, or have spent time as a stray on the street. Because of this, sometimes their past experiences are the reason why they have certain behavior issues. But as one of my high school teachers used to say, there is always a reason but seldom an excuse. Not all adopted dogs come with dark pasts, and not all adopted dogs have behaviors that can be waved away or excused because of previous experiences.

Personality traits like shyness, timidity and mistrust are sometimes just that: personality traits. And behavior issues like poor manners with other dogs, reactivity, or barking at strangers can't always be attributed to the mysterious past of your dog. Sometimes they're simply learned behaviors that need training to improve. If you've adopted a rescued dog, then you earn a big high-five! But only if you aren't dramatizing the dog's status as adopted and letting poor behavior sneak by.

"He's doing that to try and be dominant."

The whole "dominant dog" thing has frankly gotten out of control. The word is flung around as a way to explain practically any misbehaviour from jumping on a person to digging through the trash to urinating on the bedspread. If your dog jumps on you or crawls on you when you're sitting on the floor, it's more likely that it's out of over exuberance and lack of solid training than because he's trying to show you who is boss. Even resource protection isn't necessarily a "dominance" issue — a dog just doesn't want to lose what he considers valuable, like a certain toy or a bowl of food. The fear and anxiety about that loss is as much a possible cause for a growl as a drive to be the leader of the pack. Assertiveness, confidence, a lack of confidence, pain or illness, excitement, exuberance, fear, mistrust, a lack of training ... there are far more accurate ways of interpreting a dog's actions than the tired old line of "trying to be dominant."

McConnell writes, "Understanding social status is particularly important because misunderstanding what 'dominance' means has led to appallingly abusive behavior. So much old-fashioned obedience training could be summarized as, 'Do it because I told you to, and if you don't, I'll hurt you.' The assumption seemed to be that dogs should do what we say because we told them to; after all, we're the humans and they're the dogs, and surely humans have more social status than dogs." However, as McConnell goes on to point out, social status isn't all about dominance; it is a far more complex concept than one member of the family "pack" being the leader.

Whittling everything down to a dominance problem means losing sight of the complexity of social dynamics and creates blind spots for understanding behaviors. Don't let the real reason for behaviors, and therefore appropriate and effective solutions for training, get ignored because the word "dominance" springs to mind ahead of anything else.

"He knows better than that."

Does he? Or does your dog know a certain way to behave only in a certain context? Dogs can have a hard time translating behaviors learned in one place, like your living room, to another place, like inside a pet store or a dog park where smells, sights, people and energy levels are completely different. A dog that has been taught to sit politely at your front door before exiting probably won't translate that to sitting politely in front of any door before exiting, unless you've gone through that exercise at tons of different doors and been consistent about it. It even goes for a different side of your own body; if you've taught a dog to sit on your left side but never practiced on your right side, then getting that dog to sit on your right side will take a little more time.

To get a certain behavior from a dog consistently despite where you are or the specifics of what you're asking takes training the dog for that behavior in a wide variety of settings, under a wide variety of conditions, so your dog knows that "sit" doesn't just mean "that movement I do right before I'm about to get a leash put on" but rather means "put my rump on the ground no matter where I am or what is happening and keep it there until told otherwise." So before you get upset with your dog because "he knows better" or "he knows how to do that," take a look at the training history and ask, does he really?

(source)

Remember, our dogs need us to be able to speak for them clearly and correctly.  

Keep your tails wagging, 

Bear's P4ws

Thanksgiving Safety Tips for You and Your Pooch

Ever wonder what your dog thinks of Thanksgiving? It would probably be known as that day where the

house smells of delicious food, there are lots of new faces, and it’s time to practice their best begging face.

While we think of our dogs as another member of the family, it’s not always best to have them take part in all the Thanksgiving festivities. To make sure your pooch has a safe and stress-free holiday, there are some safety tips to keep in mind:

Too many cooks in the kitchen

A full day of cooking means you’ll likely have some four-legged company in the kitchen. Uncooked food and herbs can cause your pet gastrointestinal upset, so keep an eye on food while prepping dinner. In particular, keep dogs away from raw dough, cake batter, uncooked eggs, raw meat, and herbs.

Don’t let your dog overindulge

If you do decide to give your pet a little bit of turkey, make sure it has no seasoning, skin, or bones and is well cooked. For a refresher on foods that can be harmful for your dog, check out a list on the ASPCA website.

A little bit of food here and there can add up, causing stomach upset, vomiting, or in severe cases pancreatitis. Let your guests know that your pup shouldn’t be given any table scraps, so you can keep track of what and how much your dog has eaten.

Other “food sources”

Your dog may look for other sources of food, like in the trash or traces of food on aluminum foil, wax paper, and plastic wrap. If ingested, these items could make your dog quite sick. Make sure garbage is secure and food coverings are kept out of reach.

Have some down time for your pet.

Thanksgiving can be a stressful and busy time for both people and pets. In the rush to get everything ready, don’t forget to take your dog out for its regular walks. The exercise will also help tire your dog out before company arrives. You can also set aside a stuffed Kong treat and special chew toys to keep your dog preoccupied while everyone is arriving. When guests are over, make sure you set aside a quiet space away from the crowd in case your pet needs a break.

Keep an eye on exits

Your pet should have restricted access to exits, like the front door and garage, to prevent them from running out while people are entering and exiting. Just in case, your pet should be wearing its collar and ID at all times while company is over.

Following these simple tips can help you and your pet get the most out of your Thanksgiving holiday!

Soon we'll be posting some absolutely scrumptious Thanksgiving recipes that are pup-friendly, so keep an eye out for those!

Keep your tails wagging, 

Bear's P4ws

Falling in Love with Fall....the Safe Way

Fall is a great time to build some special memories with your pet: cozying up by the fire, taking in the crisp fall air, walking through fallen leaves, and enjoying all the sights and smells of the season.

As with any change of season, your pet is coming in contact with new experiences and exposures both around the house and outdoors that perhaps weren't present in the previous season. To protect your pet this fall, here are some common hazards that you and your family should be aware of:

School supplies

Now that the kids are back in school, your pet may be tempted to snack on some school supplies that may be lying around, such as crayons, markers, glue, or pencils. These objects can be a choking hazard or can be toxic for your pet to ingest. Keep school supplies in areas where your pet can’t reach them and share this important tip with your children.

Rodenticides

We do not recommend the use of rodenticides.  However, their use tends to be higher in the fall, when mice are starting to look for somewhere warm to go for the winter. Rodenticides are toxic to more than just mice, so make sure they’re placed in areas not accessible to your pets. As an alternative, we recommend a holistic deterrent of vinegar and pepper mix spray.

Engine coolants

If you’re changing your engine coolant this fall, avoid ethylene glycol-based coolants and instead go for the less toxic glycol-based coolants. Glycol-based coolants could still make your pet sick if ingested, so any spills should be cleaned thoroughly.

Visibility

With days getting shorter, there may be less daylight during your dog walks. Make sure both you and your pet are wearing bright colours or consider purchasing a collar with an LED light.

Indoor and outdoor heating sources

Keep your pet from getting too close to potentially dangerous heating sources. That means keeping your fireplace cover closed and keeping pets away from outdoor fire pits and electric heaters. Remember to also turn off electric heaters if no one is home.

Mushrooms

While most wild mushrooms aren't toxic, it can be difficult to distinguish a toxic mushroom from a non-toxic one. Keep your pet away from areas where wild mushrooms are found. If you see that your pet has eaten a wild mushroom, contact your vet or animal poison control immediately.

Snakes

As the weather gets cooler, snakes will start getting ready for winter hibernation. Make sure you’re familiar with poisonous snakes in your area and keep your pets from going off trail or in areas with long grass.

Following these tips this fall, can ensure your pets stay safe while enjoying the new season.

Keep your tails wagging

Bear's P4ws

Parasites and Your Pet

Parasites (fleas, ticks, and worms) can make your cat or dog sick. The good news is that you can

protect your pet from parasites. It costs some money to prevent parasite-borne diseases, but it is cheaper to prevent than treat an illness!

Fleas

The height of flea-and-tick season is April-August, but fleas can cause problems all year. Fleas move fast, so they can be hard to see in your pet’s fur. Look for flea dirt in the area where your pets sleeps. Flea dirt looks like black specks, but when you rub it with a damp paper towel, it shows as a reddish smear.

Fleas can make your dog or cat very itchy, lose their hair, and lose lots of blood. In addition, fleas can carry tapeworm eggs. If your pet eats a flea that is carrying tapeworm eggs, your pet can get tapeworms. If your pet has tapeworms, you will notice small, hard, seed-like particles where your pet sleeps.

You can treat a flea problem with flea collars, powders, sprays, shampoos, and dips. These treatments must be repeated often in order to work. The easiest and best way to prevent fleas is to use a monthly “spot-on” topical medicine. A few drops on your pet’s neck is all it takes to kill fleas for one month.

Remember: It’s cheaper to prevent your pet from getting fleas than to hire exterminators to get rid of them!

Heartworms

Heartworms are deadly worms carried by mosquitoes. If an infected mosquito bites your dog, your dog will get worms that actually live in the pet’s heart. Heartworms cause blocked blood vessels,

Signs of a serious heartworm infection include coughing, intolerance of exercise, fainting, and difficulty breathing.

breathing problems, bleeding problems, and heart failure. Your pet can die from untreated heartworms.

The only way to prevent heartworms is by giving your dog medicine each month. Monthly heartworm medicine kills baby heartworms in your dog's blood.

Some heartworm preventatives protect your pet from other parasites, too. For instance, Revolution and Sentinel protect your pet from heartworms, fleas, mites, intestinal worms, and ticks. Sentinel is a tablet, while Revolution is the spot-on treatment applied to the dog's neck.

If your dog is already infected with heartworms, there are several ways to kill them. You can have the dog treated at your vet. Your vet will give the dog injections to kill the worms. This treatment is expensive and requires that the dog remain still and mostly inactive for weeks during treatment. If this isn't an option, many vets are now giving dogs antibiotics that kill the bacteria that co-exist with the worms. Killing the bacteria should weaken the worms.

Heartworm-positive dogs can be started on ivermectin-based heartworm preventative, such as Heartguard or Iverheart. Heartworm preventative will not kill existing adult worms, but it will prevent new ones. Adult worms will die naturally in about two years. Even if you can't afford to treat existing heartworms, starting them on preventative will keep your dog from further infestation.

Ticks

Ticks can cause diseases in your pet such as Lyme disease. Some flea treatments, like Revolution and Frontline, also kill ticks. You can get cheap tick collars from pet and discount stores, and very effective tick collars from your vet. The easiest way to remove a tick from your pet is to grab it with tweezers and gently pull it out. Be sure and pull out the tick’s head, too! After removing the tick, apply some alcohol to the spot.

Hot Spots

Hot spots are common in summer, often caused when your dog scratches. A hot spot is a moist, red, strong-smelling, infected area on the dog's skin. If you see your dog constantly scratching the same spot, check for an oozing, red area. You can treat hot spots yourself by keeping the infected area clean and dry:
1. Cut all the hair away from the area. Sometimes you have to cut quite a bit of hair off. Cutting the hair off allows air to reach the infected area and dry it out.
2. Clean the area. Pour rubbing alcohol, witch hazel, or hydrogen peroxide onto the infected area, then pat it dry.
3. Treat the area with antibacterial powder or spray from your vet, Neosporin spray from the grocery, or dissolve an aspirin in a cup of black tea and apply the tea with a rag.
Clean the area several times a day and be sure it stays dry.

Other Worms

There are four other types of worms that live in the intestines and make dogs and cats sick. The most common is the roundworm. Most puppies and kittens have roundworms. Pets with roundworms may have a “pot-bellied” appearance, vomiting, and poor growth. Puppies and kittens should be tested for worms when they get their shots. If untreated, roundworms can kill baby animals. Adult animals can also get roundworms. Hookworms, whipworms, and tapeworms are similar to roundworms. Diarrhea, dehydration and weight loss are the most common symptoms. Sometimes you will see worms or parts of worms in your pet’s bowel movements, around the anus, or in their bedding.

Your vet can test babies and adults for worms.

Mites

Mites are so small that they are hard to see. Some mites cause a serious skin problem called mange (a disease that causes itching, hair loss, and sores). Ear mites are a common problem in both dogs and cats. They produce a buildup of very dark, waxy matter inside the ear and cause itching. An animal with ear mites will scratch at its ears and may shake its head a lot. Your vet can give you inexpensive medications to treat mites.

Stay safe this summer!  Make sure you book regular yearly appointments with your vet to keep up on your dog's annuals and blood work.  Remember, it's more cost effective and much safer for your pet if you take preventative measures against fleas, ticks, mites and worms than if you simply react.  

Keep your tails wagging, 

Bear's P4ws

Petting Dogs: Why Consent is Important

Originally written by a trainer at PawsAbilities this blog/article cover such an important topic for all dog owners to understand and advocate that I simply had to re-post it.

“Come give Sara a hug goodbye,” my friend tells her 3-year-old son. His eyes get big, and he stands behind his mother, hugging her legs. It’s an uncomfortable moment. My friend is embarrassed that her son clearly doesn’t want to hug me. She wants to teach him manners, and worries how his reaction reflects on her parenting. It’s been so long since we last saw each other that her son barely remembers me, and he’s very uncomfortable with the idea of such an intimate goodbye. I’m also not a fan of the idea, since I don’t want to touch anyone, no matter the age, without his or her express consent, even for something as minor as a brief embrace.
“Do you want to wave goodbye instead?” I ask my friend’s son. He nods and smiles shyly, waving bye-bye. The tension in the room relaxes, and I hug my friend goodbye while her son stands in the background, relief palpable in his demeanor as he waves. I hope that I’ve given both him and his mother the tools to deal with similar situations gracefully in the future. It’s okay if he doesn’t want someone to touch him, and he can always offer an alternate suggestion that he feels more comfortable with.
It’s not okay to touch others without their consent. As grabby primates, this can be a hard rule for us to follow. It’s not okay to rub a stranger’s pregnant belly, or to ruffle a child’s curly hair without her permission. If someone doesn’t want to shake hands or hug, waving or giving a fist bump may be more appropriate. We learn as young children to keep our hands to ourselves, and it’s something that we need to remember our entire lives. It’s also something we need to remember when we interact with dogs.

Not every dog likes to be touched. Sure, most dogs enjoy petting and scratching, especially in those hard-to-reach areas such as under their collar and along their spine. However, just like us, every dog has a different level of tolerance for physical affection. Some dogs, just like some people, can’t get enough of touch. They’re happiest when they can lean against you, skin-on-skin, and feel your hand caressing them. Other dogs, just like other people, prefer not to be touched except by a handful of those they know and trust, and even then, only at certain times and in certain places.
You wouldn’t run up and hug a stranger who was walking in the park just because you liked the color of his or her eyes, and it’s just as inappropriate to hug or pick up a dog you don’t know just because you think it’s cute. If a stranger approaches your dog and wants to pet him or her, and your dog doesn’t seem comfortable with the idea, it’s absolutely alright to tell that person no. Just as you would stand up for a child or a vulnerable adult who was unable to tell the stranger no, it’s okay to stand up for your dog. Dogs are not public property, and no one has the right to pet your dog unless you and your dog are both okay with them doing so. 

Of course, this isn’t to say that you shouldn’t teach your dog to accept petting and to greet people appropriately. Dogs have to live in a world where people will reach out for them without asking first, so give your dog the tools to cope with this gracefully by socializing him appropriately.
If you want to pet a dog, whether it’s your own pet or a dog you just met, make sure that you ask first. Asking the owner is important, but even more importantly, I want you to ask the dog. Ask the dog if he or she wants to be touched, and then respect the answer you’re given. 

How do you ask a dog whether she wants to be petted? Dogs aren’t verbal, so they can’t verbally express what they want. However, they do have a complex and nuanced language of their own, and we can watch their body language to determine whether they want to be touched or not.
Start by crouching down a few feet away from the dog you’d like to pet, talking to him or her softly. If the dog approaches, that’s a good sign that she’s interested in interacting with you. If she maintains her distance, that’s an equally good sign that she’s not currently comfortable interacting and that you should give her some space.

Once the dog approaches you, gently pet her under her chin, on her chest, or along her side for 1-2 seconds. Pause and see what she does. If she moves closer to you, leans in, nudges at your hand, or otherwise interacts further with you in a social way, she is telling you that she enjoyed being touched and would like to be petted more. Go ahead and oblige. If she stiffens up, moves away, or does not show any social body language, stop touching her. You do not have her consent to continue putting

your hands on her body. This should go without saying, but if the dog shows warning signs such as whale eye, growling, snarling, snapping, or biting at you, stop what you’re doing immediately and give her some space.
Every so often as you’re petting the dog, stop and ask whether she’d like you to continue by watching her body language. Whenever you pet her in a new place on her body or in a new way (for example, ruffling up the fur above her tail instead of softly stroking her shoulder), stop after a few seconds and evaluate whether she enjoyed that. Many dogs have definite preferences about where they enjoy being touched the most, so ask for the dog’s feedback and watch her respond ecstatically as you scritch just the right spot.

If someone else is petting your dog, ask them to follow these same instructions. Watch your dog’s body language, and be ready to redirect the person if your dog becomes uncomfortable.
It’s a sad reflection of our society that I’m often accused of not liking my clients’ dogs upon first meeting them because I don’t immediately try to pet them. People seem hurt and confused that I don’t instantly reach out for their dogs, especially since I clearly love dogs so much. When I explain that I don’t pet dogs without the dog’s consent, it’s often very eye-opening for my clients, who were taught that anyone should be allowed to touch a dog whether the dog wants it or not. These same clients are often amazed that their dogs don’t show the same aggressive behavior towards me that they do towards most visitors to the home, or that their fearful dog warms up to me so quickly. This isn’t magic. It’s just respect. I respect each dog’s right to choose how closely he or she wants to interact with me, and dogs respond to this respect enthusiastically.


Bark back at us!  How do you handle strangers (children especially) who love dogs and lunge for them when they cross you in the street or at the park?

Keep your tails wagging
Bear